As a child, I grew up understanding that there is an order to life. Like how you have to go through primary school to get to a secondary school and from there on to the university.
One of the times I came face to face with the reality of this order would be when my big sis recently finished university and started the compulsory one year of national service. We would often walk out on the street as a family and pass by some street aunties or my mum’s friends on the road.
A lot of their conversation would usually revolve around my sister, her well-being, and subsequently, when they were coming for the wedding celebrations.
It was during those times that I came to face how much institutionalized systems come to dictate and define the expectations and outcomes of our lives.
I carried this mindset with me for quite a while until I got into the university. Unbeknownst to me, I would encounter several situations that would challenge the norm I knew.
Infact, one of the most significant moments happened during my 100 level when I was queuing behind the social science faculty office like many other students, waiting to get my Matric number. Then, I saw this young woman holding a toddler while carrying a baby on her back.
For the life of me, I couldn't understand what would convince a mother of two young children to be going through something as wild as a university education in a public school with not enough facilities and too many students.
I mean, wasn't the rule to go through school first before getting married and then having kids, not the other way round? That was exactly my thought process at the time.
What's interesting about it is the fact that, that very situation was my first encounter with the idea that there are many paths to success. Just because you don't go through the conventional route doesn't mean you won't arrive at your destination.
Nothing quite challenged that mindset as the picture of that young mother of two queuing with a bunch of high-strung youths waiting to get attended to.
Today, I am so glad I have this vivid image in my mind while I share my thoughts with you.
I’ll open by saying that developed and developing Nations all have one thing in common. An institutionalised way things are done. Take, for example, the Nigerian Educational system, which runs by the 6+6+4 rule. According to the rule, it's expected that you do six years in Primary school, six years in secondary and then four, more years in the university, depending on your course of study. And that used to be the norm
But now, not any more. Now, some people spend 5 years in primary and jump right into secondary. Some, don't even do secondary school, just wite the WAEC exams, NECO or GCE, pair that with Jamb and land right into a university.
All that proofs is that success isn't gotten by the conventional route alone. This is such a profound truth because I have met people who have dictated the outcomes of their lives based on institutionalised routes. I even used to be a victim of such mindset.
I used to think people who got married before school or while in school were weird, or that people who started working or owning businesses while in school were crazy. Do you know why? As far as I knew, the conventional or expected path is that you finish school, for Nigerians, you go for your National service and then you think about a job or business or getting married and having kids. You were not expected to or even rewarded for jumping the order.
However, that is no longer the case, the more I lived, the more I read, saw and talked with people who didn't do things the regular way, people who didn't wait for an institutionalized system to dictate to them their capabilities and outcomes.
I have met people who thought they could only make money after leaving school, and I have met people who know they can make money while in school.
In fact, I had a recent conversation where someone told me she was just waiting to be done with a particular project, then go for National service and then pursue her dreams. Like there was any law holding her back.
Sometimes, conventional paths deceive us into thinking, if you do it step by step as ordered, you'll automatically get the expected outcome. Maybe that was the norm before, but sadly, not anymore. These days, the world doesn't reward conventionalism, so don't go thinking things will automatically fall in place just because you went the expected route.
I've heard of Children who became millionaires, Children who are building mind-blowing gadgets, birthing innovation and I often wonder, what if they too had believed that you had to go through the system before you can create a solution or solve a problem.
I've realised that institutionalized system were meant to give us a sense of order and help us plan our lives, but it wasn't meant to limit our abilities or allow us live with the limiting mindset, that you can only do it one way.
I've now seen that dreams can co-exist. Projects can be done side by side. A child can be a child and still build something that can change the world. A person can be a student and a wife and a mother at the same time. I’ve see that you can be a corporate worker and still own a fleet of businesses.
There's no one path to doing it, no one way, so don't wait for an institutionalized man made system to dictate what you can or cannot do per time.
You can have it all if you dare to.
I hope you break out of every box and dare to do it all. I'll be somewhere chhering you on.
”Who is he that saith, and it cometh to pass, When the Lord commandeth it not?“