Fear; My Ex
Let me tell you a story about my ex, "Fear." So I was this person that was always timid and scared of a lot of things but most especially I was scared of trying. You know the whole, what if I fail, what if people laugh at me, what if people don't like it blah blah blah kinds of thought. I remember sometime in Primary school there was a French competition for my level and representatives were needed from each arm. I knew I could do it because I loved French and I was really good at it. Anyways the teacher kept giving the opportunity for someone to volunteer but I never did. I was too scared and she ended up appointing people for it. Of course on the day of the competition I knew my class would have been first or second because the questions they failed I did know. This story is just the first of many opportunities I let pass me by because of fear.
After high school, while waiting to get into college I decided to work on that part of me, read books, prayed, took some bold steps but more I made the decision that I would not be a slave to fear. Getting into college this was one of the mindset I went into college with a conciousness of.
During my 100level Second semester we usually have a week that's set aside for students. Some colleges call it "student week" but for us it's usually, "departmental week." Or "faculty week." This one was our departmental week and one of the programs slated to happen was a debate. I remember that story in the Bible when Joshua told the Israelites, to choose between life or death. I was faced with that kind of choice. It's either I go back to fearful me or attempt to break out of it. I really wanted to do this deabte and my dear friend was trying to encourage me to do it as well. At first no one from my level wanted to represent us but then one of our senior colleague kept pushing some of us that we should go for it that we could do it. At this point I had decided that I would do it even with that hot ball of fear going around in my tummy. So we started practicing and I was getting the hang of it. We were taught the British Parliamentary style of debate and it was so engaging and quite stimulating even.
As the slated day for the departmental week drew closer it was decided we should have a practice run. >Pauses to laugh<
Sorry I couldn't help it, what a day that was!
So we met for practice and we were given a topic with few minutes to deliberate on and get our ideas ready. When it was my turn to speak, >Pauses to laugh again<
Gosh I'm really sorry but mehn I messed up. I didn't just mess up I flopped in the worst possible way imaginable. I know for a fact that I made no coherent, comprehensible point that day. If the ground could have swallowed me I would have welcomed it. I'm not sure I spoke up to 3 minutes, I know I ended with an, "I'm sorry" and took my walk of shame back to my seat. I was so embarrassed and almost thought of backing out. My ex, fear came at me again and was sneering in my face. In the end I decided to stick with things and do the debate. We had another practice run, this time around I came mentally prepared and looking back now I have to say, we rocked! We came in first and then second during the practice run. We did two practice run that day.
On the day of the debate my ex was at it again. At this point I had full blown jitters I didn't eat that morning because I knew I would throw up. The nausea came in full force and my palms were sweaty. I came prepared with a hand towel this time. As soon as the topic was given and our 15 minutes preparation time was allotted, we got to work preparing our ideas. What I'd say is we gave it our best shot. I can't really remember if my team was the opening government or closing government but I was soon called on to present my point. I stood up with my tummy uneasy, my palm sweaty and my heart beating really fast. I took the Mic and started talking. Words were just coming out of my mouth and I was making some really valid points. Eventually I exhausted my points and went back to my seat. My partner did the same too introducing some more points while strengthening the ones I'd earlier mentioned. Mean while I sat there and couldn't believe I'd said the things I had said.
Thinking about it now reminds of a book I read few weeks ago; "Do it afraid" by Joyce Meyer. Looking back I would say that's basically what I did, I did the debate afraid. I heard a speech where someone said, "Beyond the fear of failure is a the fear of regret." That struck a nerve and resonated deep within me. I honestly would never have known that I was good with public speaking if I didn't first take that bold step. Everytime I engage in any exercise that involves talking to people I still get the jitters and the occasional sweaty palms. If it's a big crowd then I get nauseous and my heart beats really fast. Regardless I still do the job. Because I would rather try and fail and keep trying than get stuck again in that box fear put me in. I don't know if you're like me and fear was a really good friend but maybe its time to kick fear in the gonads and break out. Like Joyce Meyer said, why not DO IT AFRAID.
Nothing limits you or your potentials than fear. It will keep you stuck in obscurity without progress. It stops you from harnessing all the resources available to you. The worst part is knowing you can do it but yet afraid to try. Well I say its about time to break free of the hold fear has on you. Its about time to step out in faith. Today make the decision to DO IT AFRAID!
PS: my team came in second and I tied as second best speaker with another debater. I've done no debate since then because for me it really wasn't about the debate but stepping beyond my limit. I hope you find the courage to do the same too!
Remember You can choose to DO IT AFRAID!
Let me tell you a story about my ex, "Fear." So I was this person that was always timid and scared of a lot of things but most especially I was scared of trying. You know the whole, what if I fail, what if people laugh at me, what if people don't like it blah blah blah kinds of thought. I remember sometime in Primary school there was a French competition for my level and representatives were needed from each arm. I knew I could do it because I loved French and I was really good at it. Anyways the teacher kept giving the opportunity for someone to volunteer but I never did. I was too scared and she ended up appointing people for it. Of course on the day of the competition I knew my class would have been first or second because the questions they failed I did know. This story is just the first of many opportunities I let pass me by because of fear.
After high school, while waiting to get into college I decided to work on that part of me, read books, prayed, took some bold steps but more I made the decision that I would not be a slave to fear. Getting into college this was one of the mindset I went into college with a conciousness of.
During my 100level Second semester we usually have a week that's set aside for students. Some colleges call it "student week" but for us it's usually, "departmental week." Or "faculty week." This one was our departmental week and one of the programs slated to happen was a debate. I remember that story in the Bible when Joshua told the Israelites, to choose between life or death. I was faced with that kind of choice. It's either I go back to fearful me or attempt to break out of it. I really wanted to do this deabte and my dear friend was trying to encourage me to do it as well. At first no one from my level wanted to represent us but then one of our senior colleague kept pushing some of us that we should go for it that we could do it. At this point I had decided that I would do it even with that hot ball of fear going around in my tummy. So we started practicing and I was getting the hang of it. We were taught the British Parliamentary style of debate and it was so engaging and quite stimulating even.
As the slated day for the departmental week drew closer it was decided we should have a practice run. >Pauses to laugh<
Sorry I couldn't help it, what a day that was!
So we met for practice and we were given a topic with few minutes to deliberate on and get our ideas ready. When it was my turn to speak, >Pauses to laugh again<
Gosh I'm really sorry but mehn I messed up. I didn't just mess up I flopped in the worst possible way imaginable. I know for a fact that I made no coherent, comprehensible point that day. If the ground could have swallowed me I would have welcomed it. I'm not sure I spoke up to 3 minutes, I know I ended with an, "I'm sorry" and took my walk of shame back to my seat. I was so embarrassed and almost thought of backing out. My ex, fear came at me again and was sneering in my face. In the end I decided to stick with things and do the debate. We had another practice run, this time around I came mentally prepared and looking back now I have to say, we rocked! We came in first and then second during the practice run. We did two practice run that day.
On the day of the debate my ex was at it again. At this point I had full blown jitters I didn't eat that morning because I knew I would throw up. The nausea came in full force and my palms were sweaty. I came prepared with a hand towel this time. As soon as the topic was given and our 15 minutes preparation time was allotted, we got to work preparing our ideas. What I'd say is we gave it our best shot. I can't really remember if my team was the opening government or closing government but I was soon called on to present my point. I stood up with my tummy uneasy, my palm sweaty and my heart beating really fast. I took the Mic and started talking. Words were just coming out of my mouth and I was making some really valid points. Eventually I exhausted my points and went back to my seat. My partner did the same too introducing some more points while strengthening the ones I'd earlier mentioned. Mean while I sat there and couldn't believe I'd said the things I had said.
Thinking about it now reminds of a book I read few weeks ago; "Do it afraid" by Joyce Meyer. Looking back I would say that's basically what I did, I did the debate afraid. I heard a speech where someone said, "Beyond the fear of failure is a the fear of regret." That struck a nerve and resonated deep within me. I honestly would never have known that I was good with public speaking if I didn't first take that bold step. Everytime I engage in any exercise that involves talking to people I still get the jitters and the occasional sweaty palms. If it's a big crowd then I get nauseous and my heart beats really fast. Regardless I still do the job. Because I would rather try and fail and keep trying than get stuck again in that box fear put me in. I don't know if you're like me and fear was a really good friend but maybe its time to kick fear in the gonads and break out. Like Joyce Meyer said, why not DO IT AFRAID.
Nothing limits you or your potentials than fear. It will keep you stuck in obscurity without progress. It stops you from harnessing all the resources available to you. The worst part is knowing you can do it but yet afraid to try. Well I say its about time to break free of the hold fear has on you. Its about time to step out in faith. Today make the decision to DO IT AFRAID!
PS: my team came in second and I tied as second best speaker with another debater. I've done no debate since then because for me it really wasn't about the debate but stepping beyond my limit. I hope you find the courage to do the same too!
Remember You can choose to DO IT AFRAID!