Taking a Stand
When I was in high school, during the Joint Promotion Examination required of student in secondary schools to determine if we're ready to face our last year in highschool, I had something happen to me that started me on a particular journey which I'll get into. You know this popular phrase "let's help ourselves or otherwise termed copy-copy". It's usually really common in schools especially during exam periods. Well, that was a believe system that we the students also adopted in my highschool. We "helped" each other by allowing one another copy from each other, telling each other answers, and other behaviors in that angle. In our defense, we thought it wasn't cheating because we didn't carry any incriminating materials, all we did was "help" each other.
On the day I wrote my Economics paper, it was a regular day like any other. I came in ready to continue in our "help each other" and be helped project.
First, I have to say that I didn't really buy into the idea at first but when your belief system isn't so strong or firm and you have virtually everybody going one route, it's easy to get swept off and carried away by the notion of the crowd.
As we progressed in the exams, with all the help and be helped behavior I had indulged in, it was getting to me and I honestly couldn't wait to be done with exams. As much as possible, I tried to prepare enough that I wouldn't need to be helped even though I didn't mind helping.
So on that day, I prepared for the exam and as soon as we were seated and given permission to begin, I did. I opened the question paper and to my shock, I was blank. The A part seemed easy enough but not the B part or I would know a bit but not enough to answer a question fully. I was well and truly stuck. At that point there was no one more grateful than I that the "helping each other" policy had been introduced. I think I gave someone my paper or I took someone's paper, I really can't remember which it was. I just remember copying like my future depended on it which was indeed true.
While I was doing this, there was this dreadful feeling I was experiencing doing the act. It made me feel really uncomfortable but given the direness of the situation I was in I blotted out everything else and did what I had to do. That was my defense, " I did what I had to do."
After the exam, I of course had to confront what I felt about what I had done and you know what that feeling was, "SHAME." Big doses of shame mixed with an intense guilt that had my head pounding and my knees weak. At that time I couldn't process anything else but those two emotions. Honestly, you would think I'd killed someone with how bad I felt. I just couldn't shake the feelings of shame and guilt. I felt like I'd broken someone's heart and I just didn't know who. Now I do know that I did break someone's heart and in that moment I was convicted and consequently converted. After that day I swore, NEVER AGAIN. I made a pledge right there to never again indulge in "copy copy" because no matter how we tried to pretty it up, it was still cheating. Consequently, that was my last paper for the term so the pledge couldn't have happened at a better time. It was going to be a, "New term, new me" kind of thing.
Fast Forward to WAEC when the pressure was double that of JPE and the temptation was twice intense. I'd had enough time to grow into that pledge, I had ladies just like me that encouraged me not to give in and one of them was my twin. We wrote WAEC and NECO side by side but not once did we do the, "copy copy" thing.
Now years have passed and I had gotten into the university. It's a new place, new everything and I had the choice to go back to that life or continue in the one I'd started. As our first semester exam approached, the favorite and most consistent statement you could hear was, "Please let's help ourselves," "Be your brothers keeper", "Heaven help those who help themselves" and other similar statements like that. It was like I had hit replay all over again. I found myself so conflicted, some of the people I'd initially spoken with justified the act with different reasonings and no matter how I wanted to go with the flow I just couldn't. I found myself making a declaration in class like, "I'm not telling anyone anything during an exam" and ensuring I stuck to it. I think most thought I was joking until the day came and I did just that. I also remember speaking to a friend; I believe God just led me to her and she spoke the words I needed to hear. Infact, she made me know it was going to be difficult doing the right thing but I should take comfort in knowing that regardless it was the right thing to do.
I've written 5 semester exams so far and I can tell you, I have kept to that pledge to the very end. Do you know what value I developed by this experience? I'll tell you. It's INTEGRITY. Even when no one is watching, even when the environment makes it difficult to keep to that value, still I do. I've had to close my ears sometimes during an exam just so I don't hear the chatter of answers flying in the air. I've sat in the most undesirable spot, I even got to be greatly disliked because of this. I've been called wicked, I've been bribed and almost beaten because of this. I've even been insulted a lot because of this but you know what, it's perfectly Okay. Anytime I think to give way just a little, it's like the word integrity becomes a person I dearly love. I can just feel Him stand there and tell me, "Trust me, don't do it." I've come to trust that His ways will always be better than mine. My results are proof of that, when Grace meets Preparation.
One day my children may walk through the walls of the same institution I did, the may meet someone who went to the institution I did. When they announce that they are mine, it will be said, "Sylvia Duruson, the lady that never cheated." Now that's a legacy worth building.
I'll tell you this, you don't have to be good at upholding all the good values out there but let it be known that you stood for something. Whether it be honesty, dilligence, peace, fairness, trustworthiness, punctuality, patience etc.
Pick up something and TAKE A STAND. You are what you stand for. If people say your standards are too high, well pay no mind, it's because their standards are too low! As you take that stand, don't forget to stand firm, not wavering, not as the man who looks at himself in the mirror and after forgets himself, such a person cannot build to last.
Now I still have 3 semester exams to go through, 3 more trials of integrity to go through relatively speaking. Given the imperfections of our world, I have no doubt I will be forced to take that exam over and over again.That's okay though, I intend to keep taking my stand. I don't expect everyone to support me but I'll keep hoping that by my taking this stand, I can encourage you to do the same for yourself!
You are what You stand for!
As for me, I Stand for INTEGRITY
What do you stand for?
Remember, IF YOU STAND FOR NOTHING YOU'LL FALL FOR ANYTHING.
When I was in high school, during the Joint Promotion Examination required of student in secondary schools to determine if we're ready to face our last year in highschool, I had something happen to me that started me on a particular journey which I'll get into. You know this popular phrase "let's help ourselves or otherwise termed copy-copy". It's usually really common in schools especially during exam periods. Well, that was a believe system that we the students also adopted in my highschool. We "helped" each other by allowing one another copy from each other, telling each other answers, and other behaviors in that angle. In our defense, we thought it wasn't cheating because we didn't carry any incriminating materials, all we did was "help" each other.
On the day I wrote my Economics paper, it was a regular day like any other. I came in ready to continue in our "help each other" and be helped project.
First, I have to say that I didn't really buy into the idea at first but when your belief system isn't so strong or firm and you have virtually everybody going one route, it's easy to get swept off and carried away by the notion of the crowd.
As we progressed in the exams, with all the help and be helped behavior I had indulged in, it was getting to me and I honestly couldn't wait to be done with exams. As much as possible, I tried to prepare enough that I wouldn't need to be helped even though I didn't mind helping.
So on that day, I prepared for the exam and as soon as we were seated and given permission to begin, I did. I opened the question paper and to my shock, I was blank. The A part seemed easy enough but not the B part or I would know a bit but not enough to answer a question fully. I was well and truly stuck. At that point there was no one more grateful than I that the "helping each other" policy had been introduced. I think I gave someone my paper or I took someone's paper, I really can't remember which it was. I just remember copying like my future depended on it which was indeed true.
While I was doing this, there was this dreadful feeling I was experiencing doing the act. It made me feel really uncomfortable but given the direness of the situation I was in I blotted out everything else and did what I had to do. That was my defense, " I did what I had to do."
After the exam, I of course had to confront what I felt about what I had done and you know what that feeling was, "SHAME." Big doses of shame mixed with an intense guilt that had my head pounding and my knees weak. At that time I couldn't process anything else but those two emotions. Honestly, you would think I'd killed someone with how bad I felt. I just couldn't shake the feelings of shame and guilt. I felt like I'd broken someone's heart and I just didn't know who. Now I do know that I did break someone's heart and in that moment I was convicted and consequently converted. After that day I swore, NEVER AGAIN. I made a pledge right there to never again indulge in "copy copy" because no matter how we tried to pretty it up, it was still cheating. Consequently, that was my last paper for the term so the pledge couldn't have happened at a better time. It was going to be a, "New term, new me" kind of thing.
Fast Forward to WAEC when the pressure was double that of JPE and the temptation was twice intense. I'd had enough time to grow into that pledge, I had ladies just like me that encouraged me not to give in and one of them was my twin. We wrote WAEC and NECO side by side but not once did we do the, "copy copy" thing.
Now years have passed and I had gotten into the university. It's a new place, new everything and I had the choice to go back to that life or continue in the one I'd started. As our first semester exam approached, the favorite and most consistent statement you could hear was, "Please let's help ourselves," "Be your brothers keeper", "Heaven help those who help themselves" and other similar statements like that. It was like I had hit replay all over again. I found myself so conflicted, some of the people I'd initially spoken with justified the act with different reasonings and no matter how I wanted to go with the flow I just couldn't. I found myself making a declaration in class like, "I'm not telling anyone anything during an exam" and ensuring I stuck to it. I think most thought I was joking until the day came and I did just that. I also remember speaking to a friend; I believe God just led me to her and she spoke the words I needed to hear. Infact, she made me know it was going to be difficult doing the right thing but I should take comfort in knowing that regardless it was the right thing to do.
I've written 5 semester exams so far and I can tell you, I have kept to that pledge to the very end. Do you know what value I developed by this experience? I'll tell you. It's INTEGRITY. Even when no one is watching, even when the environment makes it difficult to keep to that value, still I do. I've had to close my ears sometimes during an exam just so I don't hear the chatter of answers flying in the air. I've sat in the most undesirable spot, I even got to be greatly disliked because of this. I've been called wicked, I've been bribed and almost beaten because of this. I've even been insulted a lot because of this but you know what, it's perfectly Okay. Anytime I think to give way just a little, it's like the word integrity becomes a person I dearly love. I can just feel Him stand there and tell me, "Trust me, don't do it." I've come to trust that His ways will always be better than mine. My results are proof of that, when Grace meets Preparation.
One day my children may walk through the walls of the same institution I did, the may meet someone who went to the institution I did. When they announce that they are mine, it will be said, "Sylvia Duruson, the lady that never cheated." Now that's a legacy worth building.
I'll tell you this, you don't have to be good at upholding all the good values out there but let it be known that you stood for something. Whether it be honesty, dilligence, peace, fairness, trustworthiness, punctuality, patience etc.
Pick up something and TAKE A STAND. You are what you stand for. If people say your standards are too high, well pay no mind, it's because their standards are too low! As you take that stand, don't forget to stand firm, not wavering, not as the man who looks at himself in the mirror and after forgets himself, such a person cannot build to last.
Now I still have 3 semester exams to go through, 3 more trials of integrity to go through relatively speaking. Given the imperfections of our world, I have no doubt I will be forced to take that exam over and over again.That's okay though, I intend to keep taking my stand. I don't expect everyone to support me but I'll keep hoping that by my taking this stand, I can encourage you to do the same for yourself!
You are what You stand for!
As for me, I Stand for INTEGRITY
What do you stand for?
Remember, IF YOU STAND FOR NOTHING YOU'LL FALL FOR ANYTHING.